I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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