my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Randomize
