mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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