It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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