It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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