The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
