I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
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