mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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