Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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