I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
