i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
