Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
