Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
