You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
