there was a trapeze. enough said
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
