and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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