Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
