he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
