You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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