oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
