break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
