i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
