i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
