what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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