He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
