I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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