Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i think my mom watched the whole time
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
