weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
