just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
