guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
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Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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