Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
