Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
