She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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