honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize