I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
