please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
