So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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