I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
