Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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