Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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