She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Less talking, more tequila
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
