Grow some girl-balls and come out already
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
