I like to think it a success when the cops are called
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
