Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
