omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
