So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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