That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
