she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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