If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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