you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
