so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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