On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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