Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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