Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
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i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
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We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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