If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
