i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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