I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
God I need to hump something, right now.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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